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Father pays tribute to son, daughter killed in crash

Friday, May 09, 2008 7:16 AM

Lee Wagner walks north on Main Street, Salisbury
on his way from Georgia to Tyro on his "A Walk to Remember Lee
and Jillie Wagner." His two chlldren were killed in an auto
accident on Mother's Day. photo by Wayne Hinshaw, Salisbury
Post

Post

By Steve Huffman

Salisbury Post

Lee Wagner hiked 23 miles Wednesday, hoofing it from outside
Charlotte to a site north of China Grove.

The day was warm and humid.

"It was a long walk," Wagner admitted.

His trek continued Thursday, though the jaunt wasn't as grueling
— stretching to a point outside Lexington. During the day, Wagner
followed U.S. 29 through downtown Salisbury and Spencer.

"I'm just a guy on a walk," he said.

Wagner is doing more than taking a pleasure stroll. He's walking
in honor of his two children — Jillian and Lee IV — who died in a
car accident four years ago today.

On Sunday, Wagner will visit the cemetery at Bethesda United
Methodist Church in Welcome where his children are buried. His trek
began 380 miles ago — at Starr's Mill High School in Peachtree City,
Ga., where Jillian and Lee were students.

"I'm tracing their final journey," Wagner said. "That's why I'm
doing what I'm doing."

Jillian was 18 and Lee 16 when they were killed in an interstate
accident in Georgia on May 9, 2004. It was Mother's Day.

Jillian and Lee were popular, outgoing students with lives of
promise stretching before them.

Jillian was a high school senior who planned to attend the
University of Georgia that fall. She'd auditioned for "American
Idol" shortly before her death, making it to the second round of the
competition.

"She didn't make it to Hollywood," Wagner said, "but she didn't
make it on the blooper show, either."

Lee was a high school junior who loved just about all sports. "He
was already a better golfer than me," Wagner said.

Their fatal accident happened when the Jeep in which they were
riding flipped out of control and cartwheeled down the interstate's
median.

The Wagners had moved from Davidson County to Peachtree City in
2001. Since Jillian and Lee had attended Starr's Mill High School as
well as North Davidson High School, double funerals were held at
churches in both communities.

As any parent who has been through a similar experience can
attest, Wagner and his wife, Debbie, were devastated. They mourned
and spoke to a counselor who reminded them that 87 percent of
couples who lose children wind up divorcing.

"Mark us down in that other 13 percent," Wagner said he told the
counselor. "We feel we've come through this, we've got a story to
tell."

Eventually the Wagners collected themselves and discussed how
they might pay tribute to Jillian and Lee.

"I asked my wife, 'What's going to be their legacy?' " Wagner
said. "Is it going to be just a couple of kids killed on the
interstate?"

It has turned out to be considerably more.

Wagner said he and his wife had been saving for their children's
college educations almost from the time they were born. The
investment had turned into a nest egg, he said.

So the Wagners turned the money into the Jillian and Lee Wagner
Scholarship Fund. The money has gone for a number of purposes.

In addition to providing financial assistance to college-bound
students (four such scholarships have been awarded thus far), the
money has gone to fund mission trips to Mexico, projects at local
churches, aid to families left homeless by Hurricane Katrina and
courtyards at Starr's Mill High School.

"Whatever I think Jillian and Lee would have wanted us to do with
the money, we're trying to do," Wagner said. "They were loving kids.
They would have wanted us to help others."

Wagner, 55, came up with the idea for his walk (details can be
found at www.awalktoremember.org) over the past year.

On weekends in March and April, he met with youth groups at
churches around Peachtree City and went on memorial walks with their
members.

Along the way, he also shared the story of the deaths of his
children and reminded the young people to whom he was speaking of a
simple fact.

"I talk to them about choices," Wagner said. "My children weren't
speeding, weren't drinking and were wearing their seat belts. They
were trying to make all the right choices. Imagine how your odds are
changed if you make the wrong choices."

Wagner calculated the distance he walked during memorial hikes
this spring and figured he'd covered about 178 miles. He'd decided
he was going to hike from Peachtree City to Bethesda Methodist and
opted to deduct the 178 miles he'd already covered.

Wagner estimated that 178 miles would have put him close to
Easley, S.C., so that's where he started his hike to Welcome on
April 30. He's since averaged 17 to 20 miles per day, spending the
night at churches or with friends or family members.

Wagner is a fit man, though he admits the hiking has taken a toll
on him.

"I can feel it in my hips," he said, laughing. "It's age catching
up with me."

Bill Roland is married to Wagner's cousin and said he still
remembers calling Wagner about a business matter the day after the
death of his children.

"He said, 'Bill, my kids were killed yesterday,' " Roland said.
"I think it's the most devastating thing I've ever been told."

Roland designed the Walk for Life Web page. He said that since
posting it on the Internet on March 3, the site has received 35,000
hits.

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself,"
Roland said. "There's just been a tremendous outpouring of support
for this family."

He said he's witnessed firsthand everything that Wagner and his
wife have been through.

"It's been a real grieving process for Lee," Roland said. "I
think this walk is part of the healing process."

Wagner wore a T-shirt, shorts and running shoes on his hike
through Rowan County. He carried a pack on his back.

Wagner's T-shirt included pictures of Jillian and Lee and read:
"2008 — A Walk to Remember. Because we'll never forget."

Wagner carried a golf club, though he said he didn't do so to
protect himself from dogs.

The club, he said, was Lee's four-iron. Wagner said he reached
into his son's golf bag and pulled the club before embarking on his
adventure.

"I said, 'Bud, I'm going to carry something I can hold on to,' "
Wagner said.

As he relayed the story Thursday morning in downtown Salisbury,
he momentarily teared up before composing himself.

Wagner is a trucking executive, director of international sales
for Boyd Brothers Transportation of Clayton, Ala. His wife is a
nurse.

Wagner's plan is to meet with young people at North Davidson
Saturday for a hike around the track there. He said he's been told
that several hundred people might participate in the event that's
scheduled to last from 8:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.

At 9:15 Sunday morning, Wagner and a group of fellow walkers will
leave from North Davidson en route to Bethesda Methodist, a distance
of about 3.5 miles. They plan to visit the cemetery, then
participate in the 11 a.m. worship service.

"They're buried in a plot right beside where we'll be buried,"
Wagner said of the final resting place for Jillian and Lee.

He said the hike has served as a tribute to his children, but
it's also been part of the grieving through which he continues.

"You can't just sit and mourn forever or you'll go crazy," Wagner
said. "I don't know where this journey is going to eventually lead
me, only that God is going to take me there."

Contact Steve
Huffman at 704-797-4222 or [email-masked].

What do you think? Post your comment below.

Comments (2)

Title:

Comment:

Your Name:

Enter text seen above:

Dawn,
Asheboro NC
Most Touching : Friday, May 09,
2008 7:23 AM

God
Bless you on your journey

Angela
Heart
touching : Friday, May 09, 2008 6:43 AM

God
Bless you or your
journey.

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